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[27 Apr 2005|04:36pm] |
the ghost of truth
floating through this world
the eternal sorrow
the immortal solitude
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| One Beautiful Day |
[13 Mar 2005|09:39pm] |
One Beautiful Day
with one beautiful girl
making one beautiful experience
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[22 Jan 2005|11:10pm] |
the iron grip on my heart
the attraction of the heart and body and mind
of insurpassable beauty
and of irreplaceable emotions
this is my love
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[21 Jan 2005|05:42pm] |
This disconnection to the world in which I don't belong.
You're my connection to the world, my portal, my door.
Don't ever forsake me.
I love you.
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| Feeling like I'm due for... |
[13 Jan 2005|06:10pm] |
So my initial encounter with my mother wasnt so bad.
she was under the sleepy spell of jetlag, and she started nagging but not fighting
she's in a good mood, it seems.
It's ironic though, she's downstairs talking my guardians about parenting and me and my stuff...yet shes not making any efforts to know me whatsoever. *sigh* some things in life just dont change.
So Laura's parents have been the worst they've ever been, and it's getting to me too, from 2 different ways. there is the obvious fact that she is forced away from me, and that i miss her incredibly. Yet, I sense that perhaps there is a purpose to this. the other is Laura herself. her dramatized moods and sudden shutting me out becomes hard to handle in my current state of stress, though i love her regardless. Like i said, i'm willing to take her burden as well.
Laura's parents anger me as much as mine, almost even more than my own. They're so opposite tho. My parents are the worst of capitalistic and materialistic people who do not kno God,and attempt to fill that void with other things. They cannot satisfy with their own lives, so they project their unsatisfaction of their own lives unto mine. Then theres Laura's parents, who are the worst of the self-righteous, Pharaseical, "holier than thou art" christians who drive the unbelievers away. and how their children, from the opposite ends of the earth, both literally and figuratively ended up together.
My mom's talking in the background about a bunch of legalworks and stuff. Thing have been relatively tension-free, surprisingly. Blessed be the name of the Lord, I have been praying for this for a long time.
And i think that Laura and I would have been just friends had her parents let us see/talk to each other freely last yr. Ironic eh? Makes me think about things.
-Prayer-
Holy Father
Be my light when I'm lost in the darkness.
Be my strength and courage when it seems hopeless.
Be glorified in me; let Your name be exalted.
In Your Son's sacred name,
Amen
P.S.
mom: "Why are you so lazy? Your dad is not lazy at all."
me: "Half of it, I get from your side of the family. The other half is cuz im arrogant."
mom: "If you know ur arrogant, and u dont change it, ur more guilty."
me: "yea...kill me."
P.P.S. Erin is a KKK member and Mindy is a manipulative nazi :-D
P.P.P.S. well...they're both racist.
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[22 Dec 2004|10:56pm] |
I got my hands on a redemption site
His scars are bigger than these doubts of mine
i'll fit all of these monstrocities inside
and i'll come alive
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[20 Dec 2004|06:44pm] |
filling my lungs
testing my will
leave me broken and,
bruised and bleeding
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[18 Dec 2004|06:27pm] |
*laughs hysterically*
oh...this thing called life...
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| this is for jaide |
[14 Dec 2004|04:31pm] |
jaide jaide jaide. lets get corny and sappy here a bit, shall we?
i have to tell u, jaide always makes me feel good, probably a lot better about myself than i actually am. i would tell her something, and she can always bring me into a positive light, and tell me something cheerful, yet it doesnt sound fake. i feel as if i could talk to her about anything, and she'd probably accept it with a positive view, and i'd feel good about it. now now...that sounded mighty selfish...as if i like her for what she does for me rather than who she is. so let me go into who she is.
jaide is a real person. real. thats something hard to find these days. she's been thru things, and she knows what really goes around a wheel. and i dont mean that in a cocky know-it-all kinda sense, its just that the character she is isnt built on crap, but real things. she's a lot better person than she sometimes (or perhaps most times) thinks she is. she is a caring person with a good heart, as cliche as that may sound and resultantly as gay as i sound.
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| this is for sarah hansen |
[14 Dec 2004|04:23pm] |
first i must thank you for your mere christianity book. that book helped me so much. the bad news is...i think i lost it -_-;;...i'll get u a new one if i cant find urs.
k, now onto my main point. i like that your a strongly opinionated person, even if ur too opinionated sometimes. i see quite an enthusiasm in u of your convictions in this age of complacency and indolence. tone and channel that enthusiasm and u will change lives.
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| this is for linda jockers |
[12 Dec 2004|02:41pm] |
linda linda...where do i begin
linda is hard to describe. she's someone that u would describe as "linda is linda" which really wouldnt be a good description. she has an odd inexplicable quality. constantly swinging between deep and childish (at least to me) she has a peculiar charm that makes me quite comfortable yet somewhat uncomfortable at the same time. if that makes sense. what im trying to say here is, shes mysterious in a plain way. u dont find that very often these days. rare character, that linda is.
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| this is for angry amy |
[11 Dec 2004|10:29am] |
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amy aversano is amy aversano. the high-energy, high-gossipy, dramaqueen. that sounded negative. let me try again. the good thing about amy aversano is that shes always full of energy, though she uses most of that energy being loud. :-D she's a non-judgmental person, so you wont have any fingers pointed at u if u whine about anything to her. also, she likes things as easily as she hates things, so being on her good sides means a lot of positive support. and really, amy has a good sense of humor. that i value quite highly.
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| this is for mindy |
[09 Dec 2004|08:48pm] |
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well, i would like to start off by saying melinda flanagan is the only white girl that can pull off dancing like a black girl. :-D. yes...k...let me get serious now. i admire the faith and the zeal she has in/for the Lord. even if i dont agree with some things she believes in, for example, dating, i have to admit that the confidence and faith which she bases her choices demand my respect, and my respect is hard to get. also, this isnt from personal experience, and i might be wrong, but i feel like shes someone who would be of immense help to those who are close to her. it is said that if we say we love the Lord but hate our brethren, we do not love the Lord. Her devotion to the Lord, i think, is a good enough support for me saying that she would be devoted to those close to her. and finally, back to my initial point, i like that she can take a joke :-p
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| this is for kat |
[09 Dec 2004|08:41pm] |
lets see Kat
Kat is a rather randomly aquainted friend of mine. she is quite a character. she's someone who would be quite cuz she is actually thinking. i always know that she has a plethora of information and thoughts behind her eyes. i love discussing philosophy/religion with her. she has helped me greatly, whether she knows it or not. which brings to my next point. kat is a caring person, as cliche as that may sound. despite her own issues, she is quite a giving person. *raises the glass*
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| this is for erin basel |
[09 Dec 2004|05:52pm] |
lets see...i consider erin a really good friend of mine.
superficially, i would say its cuz she has crazy fuzzy hair that i love to attack and cuz she makes me act/talk all childish, and cuz shes a democrat. but really, its that comfort. its that comfort i feel which allows me to be childish if i want to. its that comfort when i attack her hair or whatever. she has a quality that soften people. she makes me feel as if its ok even if i dont know what to say in a conversation.
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[09 Dec 2004|05:22pm] |
1. Reply to this post if you'd like me to tell you how cool you are.
2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock.
3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends some love.
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[30 Nov 2004|07:52pm] |
i jacked from my lil cuzin, cuz hes so cool and i wanna be just like him
RULES: Write a statement intended for 15 different people. NEVER TELL which one is for who.
1. I love you
2. if u only let go of ur fears, u could change so many others, u have no idea
3. just shut up
4. open your eyes and look around, tell me what u see...not what u think u see
5. you mean more to me than u probably think u do
6. thank you
7. holy crap, get a life...seriously
8. whats ur pet cat for if u dont use her to get that gerbil out of ur butt?
9. im sorry to say...but the world does NOT revole around u
10. come on bro...im waiting. i know u can do it
11. really, my friend...just stop it...ur drowning in ur own tears
12. God isn't going to help you if u jsut sit there idly and dont do jack...get moving
13. i'll be praying for u
14. ur not alone, never.
15. im sorry
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[27 Nov 2004|04:51pm] |
we are eternal
all this pain is an illusion
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[22 Nov 2004|11:52pm] |
*whiny 12 yr old voice*
wheres Laura...i want my gf
:-/
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